I suddenly feel v tired.
I've lost my centre of my world just like this.

—nd cheerup, leesheng.
breakups are often nd this time, you've not done any wrong to her.
is she don't know how to treasure you, not your fault.
don't so sad le lurhs, let th feelings fade away barhs. (:

Dejian, I'm trying to stop loving you.


Dejian, I swear to god I will learn to stop loving you.
I'm trying my best to occupy my mind w other things.
I know, you detests this me.
Th whole period whn we're together was too happy, tht's why breakup hurts so much.
We're more of like, brother nd sister all along.
I asked for breakup so many times is because I feel unsecured.
Everytime we goes out, I will "hear" people making nasty comments, hence th blackface.
You asked me if I care wht other people says, I care alot, you know? D:
I know you don't want me to husiluanxiang, tht's why you tell me wht other girls do or ask you.
But it will just break my smiles nd make me suddenly emo.
You always say you're tired, but have you thought for me before?
I'll always make it a must to message you whnever I miss you but you treat it as controlling your life.
If I don't love you so, I won't even want to meet you so often too.
All you cared was just yourself.

We'll never be together agn, not even friends, I realised.


Originally thought I'm going to be a loner nd travel to Bugis on my own, last min decided to go town-ing w Yihuan. Hence, we went to Suntec to shop. Ate dinner at Swensens, I paid 3/4 of th bill. Th bill is $60+, only 2 person eat lers. We're such glutton, Laugh Out Loud! Thn we went to th bookfest, it's at th 6th storey thn I keep on looking down nd my legs trembled. Because I'm afraid of height! Accompanied Yihuan to shop, she's th last customer at Cotton On lerhs. Headed home nd reached home at 12+am. So tired, ended up sleeping at 3am. Nd woke up at 5am. I'm so tired lurhs, T.T!


Just some photos, th cake is superb delicious but I'm just a lil afraid of Swensen's chocolate icecream. x.x

My feelings for you is just friendship all along.
I never had loved you before.
I don't understand why you treat me this way, I hate you.
Cher De Jian, 我恨你 .


I drank milo nd th usual effect immediately worked on me, damn fcuk it. D':

I stopped missing him already, didn't even had th urge to sms him at all.
Guess it is a great improvment? Lol.
Persuaded myself to let him go, because wht's not meant to be mine will never be mine.
But I'm v sure, I'll never meet somebody better thn him.
Whtever, I'm getting so RANDOM this few days.
Must have been th influence of Iris's R-andomness.

Got my extensions out nd putted it back agn, because I have nothing better to do. ;xx
Waiting for Iris to reply my message, guess she's still at trng? Idk.
Need to buy alotalotalotalot of things before going back to Malaysia, nd I have yet to bought Zhenying's bday present.

I'm deadbeat, last night didn't managed to catch a wink. T.T!
Was reading him 3000+ messages, thn wrote a 6 pages long diary entry!
6 pages siol, write until my hand will tremble but overall, it's tidy de lorhs.
I love my stupid handwriting larhs.
Nobody will try to read it, because thy will have to either get a pair of specs or chnge thr specs.
Or maybe, some idiot might scan it nd zoom in?
Well, I try lers but it's un-readable. x.x
Only I can read my own handwriting, so cooooool! :D

So, off to sleep!

Treasure my heart.
I will not let anybody get near it anymore.
Loves, xoxo! :D




210908 to 041108, we've been through so much tgt .
Now, to tell me to let go of it, I still shebude .
But I'll try to, because I'm going to return you all th freedom you should have . (:


Because I love you.

You'll never be able to feel th hurt whn I agreed to breakup w you. In your eyes, I'm just a friend. I let you go because I know you'll be better w/o me. I thought I'll be able to get over you. Haish.

I'll try to, smile.


心痛.

I didn't knew how to cherish nd treasure you before I lost you.
Now tht you're gone, I could only regret.
Every minute we spend together was my happiest time in this 3 years.
I know, I am th one tht made this relationship to how it is now.
I want you back, but all you said was sorries. D':

Heartache is th only word tht can describe how I feel now.
I need some time on my own, just fcuking ignore me.
I'm rude, bad-mannered or whtever kns.
How does it fcukingly have to do w you?
I promise you, whn I turn harsh, nobody can stop me.

Fcuk this life, I feel damn fcuking screwed up.
I want to sleep nd never wake up anymore, no more!

You're at idontneedyoubymyside.bs.
This is my blog, my say.

XINYI.PANG
huayisec; 3n3

"I don't need you by my side, anymore."